My fence – what a sight to behold

Posted: November 17, 2007 in General

Ok, so does everyone remember this —

Ghetto Fence …and this… Digging all the day long…

Well, let me tell you what happened after that post on Home Repairs.

I called a guy who does this sort of work…you know, man type work with tools and stuff. I ask him when he could come over to my house to fix the fence. He asks me certain questions, like, “Why is it so urgent that I come over so quickly?” I hesitate before saying, “Well, the fence is down. We can’t let our dog out without watching her.” “What happened to the fence?” I say, “I tore it down. It was fallen over. I’ve started the new fence.”

Now, this guy has known me for years. So when I said that I had started the new fence there was this long silence on the other end of the line. “Hello?”, I say. He says, “Dustin, what did you do?”

Um, huh? Is that a trick question? Yeah, I knew I had to fess up at this point. That wasn’t comfortable at all. So I relay my dilemma to this guy and ask him when he can come over to fix what I’ve messed up. We schedule a time and then hang up the phone. How embarrassing? Guess what – that wasn’t nearly as embarrassing as what happens next.

Two days later I am at home relaxing. Kyle, the fix stuff guy, pulls up. I can hear his loud truck outside. So I go to my door and open it up to find he and two of his workers standing outside of the truck looking over at my, um, fence thing, laughing hysterically. Now that isn’t at all nice! These guys are scared of me. I use to teach MMA (Mixed Martial Arts). I have fought with all of these guys no holds barred. They know not to give me too much grief.

So Kyle pipes up and, through giggles and tears mind you, says, “Dustin, you’re so good at so many other things, but this isn’t one of them.” Duh! You don’t say. So we all walk over to the fence thing. Kyle begins to point out the many errors of my ways in fence repair. For instance, each post was off of the desired mark by an inch, 6 inches, all the way up to an entire foot for one of the posts. More, none of them were aligned with the one next to it. The entire thing was a shamble. I am a bottom line kind of a guy. I say, “Can you fix it or not?” Here’s where it gets more embarrassing.

Look carefully in the background here – Digging all the day long… – do you see the pile of wood in the back? Those are all the 2x4x something or rathers that support the fence slats that make a fence look nice. Kyle says, “Well, we could fix your fence with that wood if you want, but I’d rather use treated wood that is made for exterior usage.” I give him the typical blank stare when someone talks a foreign language. He says, “Dustin, that wood is used for interior stuff. It can’t be used outside. It will rot.” I’m thinking, “What? There’s more than one kind of wood.”

To make a long story short, after another day of waiting (because I had to go exchange inside wood for outside wood), here is what they did –

Ta da No, I didn’t take a picture of the neighbors house. That’s my fence.

I came home the day that they fixed it, pulled into my driveway, and just sat there. It’s amazing. The difference a fence can make to a house is unbelievable. The only problem is that this nice part of my fence really enhances the extreme ghettoness of the rest of my fence. So, we are saving for that! Rest assured that I will not attempt to fix a fence EVER AGAIN.



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